Available in Victoria, BC
People come to therapy for a variety of reasons. Dr. Dawson has found that the most common reasons include some form of loss or trauma. For example, people can lose a part of themselves as a result of severe injury. During an unrecognizable and nightmarish existence, feeling disabled and totally lost and disoriented are understandable responses.
But whatever the nature of the injury - physical, emotional, mental, social, or spiritual - at times, even our intimate partners partners stop listening. The part who was happy has gone. Neither the relatively healthy partner nor the injured partner recognize the relationship anymore.
Another example is enduring an identity crisis. Perhaps the most significant crisis of identity often shows up during the transition between childhood and adulthood, known as adolescence. Families can use psychological support during these times of crisis.
During the teens and early adulthood, and actually throughout life, dissociation is a common way of coping with difficult circumstances. Parents or other family members become visibly worried. Being overwhelmed, our previous identities can hide away and express themselves unexpectedly and bring judgment from others. Our place in society and even our place in the universe become HUGE questions. The question of “who am I” looms large.
Another example is when a person has suffered a near-death experience which can sometimes include a radical shift in outlook. After such an experience, the purpose of life can appear to swing wildly. While these experiences could feel exhilarating, they might also engender confusion and feelings of chaos and overwhelm. As insightful as this person might be, without a community with whom to share these experiences, this individual could easily become frustrated, discouraged, and isolated from activities and people once enjoyed.
Yet another has lost someone he has depended on for his whole life. A parent, spouse, or friend has passed on or simply left without saying goodbye. In the face of these losses, it can feel like a part of oneself has died.
All of these people are searching to understand the unfairness of it all – to answer the question “why me?” – and to foster the hope of finding a “new normal” in which one can be oneself again.
Individual therapy can help you identify the strengths and resources you still have and move forward with your life with a renewed sense of self, acceptance, and commitment to yourself and others.
Whether your life and relationships are disrupted by trauma or loss, trying to cope on our own can be very difficult. Medication can help with the symptoms, but the psychological injury can’t be addressed with medication alone. Inside the self who looks back at us when we look in the mirror, psychological change and sometimes even spiritual change is necessary.
It can be a real struggle to move forward. We might wish to get back to normal overnight, but to heal, we need to learn from going through the struggle. As much as we might wish it not to be, the unexpected is an intrinsic part of life. We need to adjust our expectations and go easier on ourselves – be gentler with ourselves and forgive ourselves for failing to be perfect. We may have spent our lives giving all we can to others, but that’s left us with little to replenish ourselves. It’s time to refocus on us.
We might need to acknowledge we can’t save the world while we attend to healing ourselves. We might need to take a step back, give ourselves the gift of a little time, and even do what others might call “a little selfish”, while we rediscover who we are. In this way, we can replenish the energy we need to devote to others in the future.
Whether you gravitate to therapy to cope with overwhelming emotions, to learn to focus on the present moment, or to integrate the scattered pieces of your life into a coherent self with a renewed direction, it is important to open the doorway of your soul to a new path, to recognize transformation takes time, and that this life is your time to turn toward the direction you choose.
The Pete Seeger song Turn, Turn, Turn, adapted from The Book of Ecclesiastes, speaks of transformation across time.
To everything turn, turn, turn
There is a season turn, turn, turn
And a time to every purpose under Heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep
A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones
A time to gather stones together
A time for love, a time for hate
A time for peace, I swear it's not too late
You have a choice to stagnate or to commit to a healing process.
If you choose to heal, these are several steps you may follow:
- Recognize you can’t do it all yourself – you need help,
- Be willing to invest time in yourself,
- Learn some ways to calm the physical and emotional impacts of stress,
- Develop a vision for the new person you can become, and, last but not least,
- Build your NEW YOU in the world.
To learn more, continue reading through the Time to Heal and Action Planning pages at Dawson Psychological Services. These pages house a step-by-step approach that will support you move towards change! For a parallel approach to systematic change, check out my free resources site psychologicalhealth.life.
Call us at Dawson Psychological Services for any question or more information at 855-782-6583!