You realize you will freeze if you don't start swimming, but you have lost your sense of direction. 

Feeling dragged under, your energy drains.

Like trauma, loss is a part of life. Though painful, grief takes a natural course and eventually heals. You may have been betrayed or you’re grieving the death of a loved one. Whatever the loss is for you, distracting yourself can work for a while. But if the loss was of something or someone very meaningful, reminders will tend to bother you for quite some time. You may try to avoid or kick out those reminders, as if they shouldn’t mean anything to you. But they do, so they will return. Expecting yourself to just get back to work or get back to your old life without some period of adjustment just isn’t realistic. You need time to process the loss.

To some, this might sound like “touchy-feely” naval-gazing, as if knowing how many pieces of fluff will reveal some great wisdom. You may be right. But the greatest source of wisdom about you is YOU. And right now, you don’t know who you are anymore. Without the thing that brought you such fulfillment, the person you were is gone.

Modern science has found that loss gets processed by the emotional parts of the brain. We might not have been raised to look at our emotions. We might look for reasons and rationales, but get overwhelmed with emotions. The old strategy of thinking it through might not work so well anymore. To heal, the brain needs the focus to be on our feelings. In a sense, the mind needs to reconnect with the heart. And the feelings won’t stop until they get our attention.

Some pretty smart people have considered what might be easier to deny. The ancient Greek philosopher Socrates said that “An unexamined life is not worth living”. I don’t think the failure to examine our lives makes our lives worthless. Realizing we ought to take a good look at our lives doesn't justify ending it all. Instead, it's quite the opposite! It’s never too late to start examining and redefining our lives. As Albert Einstein said “In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”

You have an opportunity to change your life. Call Dr. Dawson today.

Dawson Psychological Services

Dr. K.A. Dawson, Registered Psychologist (CPBC #1566)

Kim Dawson

1790 Barrie Road

Victoria, BC V8N2W7 Canada

(855) 782-6583

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