Toward Relationship Change

Five Key Guiding Steps for Couples

  1. Find a time and space where you can listen to each other
  2. Be MINDFUL – Notice your position, posture, and tone of voice while you are seeking understanding.
  3. As you listen or speak, can you see, hear, and touch your partner? To know better what your partner responds to most, try discovering your Love Languages.
  4. Work toward mutual understanding using, curiosity, empathy and compassion.
  5. Find a project that combines your aspirations, skills, and interests

Five Key Tips for Communicating Better

  • Listen, allow your partner to say their piece, and GET CURIOUS about what they said. Be curious to learn your partner’s perspective. When and where were the times and places your partner learned this perspective?
  • Remember, loving is more important than agreeing.
  • To reduce the arguing, notice when you start to feel angry. This gives you a chance to reflect and choose an action you prefer (yelling or calming).
  • Check that you understood your partner’s feelings behind the words.Use your partner’s first Love Language intentionally.
  • Use empathy to help deepen your understanding of your partner’s feelings.

Dawson Psychological Services

Dr. K.A. Dawson, Registered Psychologist (CPBC #1566)

Kim Dawson

1790 Barrie Road

Victoria, BC V8N2W7 Canada

(855) 782-6583

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