In my search for what makes partnerships successful, across over thirty years gaining knowledge of different psychological theories and perspectives, I have watched many of my friends’ marriages fail.
But I have noticed they have not failed as individuals. They have carried on into new relationships and new lives. As a result, I don’t assume that separation or divorce means that something has gone wrong. There is always a lesson and hope for growth as an individual. Unfortunately, a lot of pain often accompanies these lessons.
My approach is realistic. I don’t think people should necessarily stay together when they are experiencing intolerable conflict, especially when the safety of either partner or a child is at risk. But to sacrifice all the energy you’ve invested in the relationship without trying couple therapy would be tragic.
If you have already made the decision to divorce and you want to stay out of court, the Okanagan Collaborative Family Law Group can help create positive solutions, save money, and respect all participants, including the children.